Post Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:38 am

You might be riding a Shovelhead if......

Collected from the Shovelhead Forum (http://shovelhead.us/forum/index.php)
I think they're FREAKIN' HILLARIOUS! Greybeard52

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck jokes, let's make our own list.
For example:

If you carry more tools than clothes on a 2 week road trip....
If your driveway looks like a dalmation...
You might ride a Shovelhead.

if you get tired of hearing every one talk about all the new Bikes ....
and you find up to date Harley talk boring ......
if you know what a true King queen seat is....
if you run 6 cyl. chevy points and big block chevy plugs....
If you don't have to make any excuses....
You Might ride a Shovelhead if the old lady wears chaps just to keep the oil off her pants..........
You Definitly Ride a Shovel if you buy JB weld in bulk....
You Definitly Ride a Shovel If have have two fire extinguishers....
Your wife files for divorce and names the scoot as the "other women" and claims alienation of affection ....
the DMV worker asks if you want 'antique' plates for that.....
a new city noise ordinance doesn't include your old bike (with shorty drag pipes) because there just aren't enough of them to make an impact.
you buy oil by the case. a couple times a year.
the kids on the block ask if a shovelhead is better than a Harley?
you think 1/4" tolerance between parts is pretty darn good!
You might ride a Shovelhead.

If you talk about your Bike like a person...
If you think HD quit making engines in 84
If you not only know all the part numbers for wear items, but when the dealer's parts guy sees you coming, he goes in the back to get you the Shovelhead Parts Book
If you enjoy watching rubs back out of the way when you flip out the kicker
If you think Dynaglides are the MoCo's way of covering a stupid mistake: getting rid of the original fourspeed frame
You might ride a Shovelhead.
If you think there are only three ways to ride a Shovelhead: rigid frame, apehangers, and kick only
If you know that you cannot run your bike on the street with less than 3 wires, but you wish you could..
If you got rid of all the extra complicated electrical components on your ride like the electric starter, turn signals, and horn.
If part of your twelve-year-old son's most important "education" includes being able to pick out a Pan, Knuck, or SHOVEL at twenty paces...
If you have ever hopped around the yard on one leg praying that you won't be crippled for life.
You might ride a Shovelhead.

If you have to save up for an oil change - and you do it yourself.
If your living room is covered in parts because you don't have a shed but you're hell-bent on rebuilding the damn thing.
If your shift lever says "Vise-Grip"
If your oil pressure gauge reads zero after warm up.....
- parts fall off yer bike before you even get out of the driveway.
- you're bike has the same effect on your wife as her washing machine on spin cycle.
If you find a wet spot on the passenger seat after you take that hottie for a ride....
or if you find a wet spot on the floor after every ride!
If.....
-Your bike's condition actually improves the longer you own it and the more you ride it...
-You think winter is God's way of telling you it's OK to take your bike off the road and tear it down...
-You own a HD, but have never set foot in a dealership....
-You have no interest in new bikes or $100,000 theme bikes, but think Lugnut's VLD is THE TITS.....
-You don't give a crap what Mother Harley does....
You might ride a Shovelhead.

-No one but you has ever turned a wrench on your bike...
-You don't give a crap what anybody else thinks of your scoot, but you know it's the perfect ride for you....
-You think Doc68, HawgRyder, Jack Hester, and Fab Kevin should run for political office.
-You've given up on putting cardboard under your bike cause you don't care about your garage floor anymore...
-You think JockeyShifter is fucking hilarious..........
You might ride a Shovelhead.

if you pray for the day that there is still oil in the tank when it comes around for a service and oil change!!
If you find yourself going over a preflight checklist before you fire up the beast.
If you decorate your garage walls with broken or worn out parts......
You might be riding a shovel.

If you have no Harley-Davidson emblems on your Harley-Davidson tanks....
If 2 Shovel riders happen upon the same bar, and stand in the parking lot talking "Shovel" for a 1/2 hour before getting a beer....
If ya can't even type out the word "EVO"....
..if you even know what a kick starter is
..when your ass is numb and your kidneys are killing you, you still have a smile on your face.
..if you stop to help a broke down bike (even a twinky)
..when your bike catchs fire and can still be made to run.
..if you actually like working on your bike yourself.
..when duct tape and bailing wire are in your tool kit.
..if you buy loctite in the Big bottle.
..if folks think your scoot is painted loc-tite blue!
It must be a Shovel

If your in the market for a second bike and the letters A ,M ,F don't matter to you...
if you just road through a summer rain storm and washed your bike at the same time
If you see your "electric leg" as backup for your kicker......then you probably ride a Shovel!
when you break welds almost as often as you break traction
when you pull over to help a broken down bike no matter the make, because you've been there, and are on you way there now.
Women are fighting to be next on the "MILWAUKEE VIBRATOR"
You might ride a Shovelhead.

If you go to the auto parts store for your parts
if you use a feeler gage for a starter button
if you have 1/32" between clutch disengaged and YEEHAAAA!!!!
if you know what a kickstarter is for!
If the first thing you hear outta everyone is "What year is that?"
if you test ride a new harley and feel like it is missing something.... you might ride a shovelhead
If you put on your new windshild and swear something is wrong because you never heard all those noises before!
If a RUB says to you "That would be a nice bike if it was a Harley"
You MUST be riding a Shovelhead.

If you have two beautiful mirrors on your bike, can can't see a thing out of them at highway speeds.
if the RUBS think the "twinky" you were talking about is made by Hostess
if everytime you ride you have a chase vehicle to pick up your parts
If parts keep falling off.........
If something on your bike is broken, but you can fix it yourself not take it to the dealer
If your ol lady takes her flip flops off to kick your bike over
If you kick it over with flip flops...... then loan 'em to your passenger to keep their feet warm.
If you have to brush the soot from yer clothes,and wash yer scoot with SOS pads.......
You might ride a Shovelhead.